- How do you make a small fortune out of horses? Start off with a large fortune!
- I bet on a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
- I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks "Which way do I go?" ... But when the horse I bet on is at the Tote window betting on another horse in the same race...
- What is the strongest animal? A racehorse, because it can take hundreds of people for a ride at once!
- What's the difference between praying in church and at the track? At the track you really mean it!
- What does it mean if you find a horse shoe? Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.
- A young boy told his mother that his father had taken him to the zoo. The mother couldn't believe it. She said, "Your father has never taken anyone to the zoo in his whole life." The boy said, "He did, and one of the animals paid fifty dollars!"
- This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.
MAN: "What was that for?"
WIFE: "What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Rajkumari written on it?"
MAN: "Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Rajkumari was the name of one of the horses I bet on."
The wife looked all satisfied, apologises, and goes off do work around the house. Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting.
MAN: "What in the world was that for this time?"
WIFE: "Your horse called."